Fraud Fury!

Kevin is off doing ‘bloke stuff’ with his brothers today, which means I have a free rein to get up to any amount of nonsense I wish.

However, anytime Kevin leaves me alone for more than an hour, he feels the need to say two things;

“Don’t dye your hair” and “Don’t go shopping”.

These are both ridiculous things to say for the following reasons;

1. I have an allergy to hair dye that means I haven’t been able to change the colour of my locks for the last 15 years. Although I admit that perhaps his anxiety is due to me terrifying him in the early stages of our relationship with several spectacular hues.

2. After my year of not shopping and subsequent (mostly) good behaviour, I was rather hoping he might trust me not to go on a crazy, buying bender whenever his back was turned.

3. You can’t shop anyway, when some turd (and I really am being very polite here) steals your bank details!!

So, instead of Kevin’s vision of me tripping round the town with armfuls of bags stuffed to the brim with all the glorious goodies that I’ve been powerless to resist, I’ve spent most of the day cancelling my cards, changing all my bank details, swearing rather a lot and going through the lists of debits made to my account by some blighter in Birmingham.

Yes, that’s right, I know where you live...